By: Trevor Dean

“When I was five, my dad came out as queer. This was in the early 80s in a small town,” Ann Russo, therapist and founder of AMR Therapy, shared on the Blue Hour podcast with hosts Adina Cooper and Joshua Zamrin.

Her family dynamic included her dad, his partner, her mom, and her sister. At home, life was supportive and steady. The challenge came from outside. “We had to hide my dad and his partner’s sexual orientation and show up as a heteronormative household,” she explained. “The family dynamic itself was never difficult. It was the fear of what the outside world would do.”

That secrecy, pretending her dad’s partner was only a “family friend,” gave her an early lesson in stigma. It also showed her how religion was often used to justify fear of LGBTQ+ families.

Searching for Answers in Faith

As a teenager, Ann didn’t shy away from religion. She leaned in. She went to Bible studies, joined an evangelical church, and even attended an “ex-gay” conference.

“I didn’t go there because I thought I could be ex-gay,” she said. “I really wanted to know what is going on here? What is the scripture they’re using? How did they get there?”

One thing stood out to her. “Studies are showing that queer people have higher rates of substance abuse and suicide, and the studies themselves say this is because of rejection,” Ann explained. “But Christian communities will take those same studies and say it’s because you’re queer.”

That realization shaped her path. With a master’s degree in theology and her clinical training, she created the Religious Trauma Treatment Model. The framework helps people address harm caused by religion while making their own choice about whether to leave, reshape, or remain in their faith.

Facing Her Own Identity

Even with her upbringing, Ann said she struggled with her identity at first. “When I first started having those feelings, I was beyond upset. I thought, I’ll just smash this down as hard as I can,” she admitted. 

She remembers whispering to her dad, “I think I might be gay.” His response was gentle: “You’re young. It’s possible, of course, but let yourself live your life and you’ll figure it out.”

Later, she fell for someone in the church who could not accept their own identity. “That was very painful,” she said. “I saw how life can slowly unravel if you’re not authentic, and that was a huge part of what pushed me into this work.”

Rethinking What Makes a Relationship Work

Ann also works with clients who are exploring non-traditional relationship dynamics. She urged caution, especially for those looking at it as a quick fix. “If you’re opening up a relationship because you’re unhappy in your current one, don’t do that,” she warned.

For her, success isn’t about longevity. “I’ve seen plenty of long-term relationships that are deeply unhappy,” she said. “Success is honesty, support, interdependence, and the ability to be yourself.”

Compassion, But With Clear Boundaries

Ann’s work is rooted in compassion, though she draws clear lines around harm. “There are times when I think this is killing me to see someone harmed like this,” she said. “But there’s always a part of me that asks, what happened to you? What experiences led you here? That’s what allows me to hold compassion.”

Still, she’s firm about boundaries. “Having empathy doesn’t mean you have to be around people who are unhealthy for you or unsafe for you,” she added.

Her commitment extends into action. Recently, she and her partner relocated to California to support friends and family facing immigration threats. “Sometimes showing up is as simple as going to the grocery store for someone who feels unsafe going themselves,” she explained.

Choosing Hope in Small Moments

The work can feel heavy, but Ann finds motivation in everyday victories. “When a client repairs a rupture in their life, or continues a relationship with God while living authentically, that matters,” she said. “Those little wins are what keep me going.”

Feel free to reach out to her via the links on her website or click here to subscribe to her newsletter.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of Ann Russo. The information provided is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice. Readers are encouraged to seek professional guidance tailored to their individual circumstances. The content of this article includes personal experiences and perspectives related to faith, identity, and healing, which may not apply to every individual.