By: Nicholas Mathews, Founder & CEO – Stillwater Behavioral Health

Approximately 10 percent of people report feeling lonely every single day, and nearly 30 percent report having felt lonely at least once every week for a year. These shocking numbers come from the American Psychiatric Association’s Healthy Minds Monthly Poll earlier this year.

The truth is that humans are tribal in nature. Feeling cut off from others can have a profound negative effect on both physical and mental health, as well as lead to substance abuse.

The health benefits of social connection

Research indicates that people who enjoy strong friendships and other relationships tend to be healthier and happier than those who don’t. As the authors of a 2017 meta-analysis write, “social support and feeling connected can help people maintain a healthy body mass index, control blood sugars, improve cancer survival, decrease cardiovascular mortality, decrease depressive symptoms, mitigate posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms, and improve overall mental health.”

People with positive social connections even live longer than their isolated peers. Indeed, a 2010 meta-analysis of 148 scientific studies concluded that people’s odds of survival increase by 50 percent if they have meaningful connections with friends, family, neighbors, or colleagues. 

Meanwhile, the CDC warns that sustained isolation increases people’s risk of premature death across all possible causes. It raises the risk of heart disease by 29 percent, the risk of stroke by 32 percent, and the risk of dementia in the elderly by 50 percent. Loneliness also goes hand-in-hand with elevated rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide.

Additionally, having supportive relationships with others can make the difference between recovering from a major health problem or not. A 2023 study published by the University of Colorado found that socially isolated women had a 40 percent higher risk of suffering a recurrence of breast cancer, a 60 percent higher risk of dying from breast cancer, and were also 70 percent more likely to die, period, no matter the cause.

Loneliness and isolation have also been linked to significant mental health challenges.

The negative mental health impacts of loneliness

It’s an understatement to say that being cut off from others isn’t good for people’s mental health. Many studies associate isolation and loneliness with a higher risk for depression and anxiety. 

Evidence also suggests the relationship goes both ways — not only does feeling lonely contribute to depression and anxiety, but also depression and anxiety can contribute to loneliness in a vicious degenerative spiral. Since loneliness agitates the nervous system, it is also linked with insomnia, poor quality sleep, and frequent interruptions during sleep.

Researchers have also found a correlation between loneliness and alcohol and other substance abuse. Again, the relationship appears to be bidirectional, with loneliness feeding the addiction and vice versa. 

Moreover, for those who are recovering from addiction issues, loneliness is one of the factors (along with sadness and hopelessness) that can make the person vulnerable to relapse. Findings like these emphasize the importance of community for everyone’s physical and mental health, but especially for people in recovery from addiction. 

Don’t blame yourself for being lonely

Everyone should have people in their lives who understand them. Whether you spend time with friends, family members, members of a spiritual or religious community, or fellow hobbyists, these ties play a critical role in your health and well-being.

For many people, however, finding and maintaining these precious connections can be a struggle. My advice, first and foremost, is to recognize that it might not be your fault if you are one of these people. 

Those with a history of trauma often have difficulty trusting others. Furthermore, those who suffered from invalidating childhoods may never have been taught emotional intelligence or social skills and need to learn them on their own as adults.

In addition, many men have been socially conditioned to devalue emotions and relationships. The Los Angeles Times reports that as many as 15 percent of men don’t have any close friends. “In a lonely world that keeps getting lonelier, men, on average, are the loneliest,” the article’s author writes. 

The good news is that it’s never too late to reverse course.

How to make social connections

Once you decide to build your social connections, you can start cultivating them all around you. Talking to your neighbors can be an easy place to begin, but you can also join a club or organization to meet people. Many local libraries, for instance, sponsor book clubs. 

Taking a class at a community college is another great way to connect with others who share your interests. Whatever activities you love to do, Meetup probably has groups of people who share them.

Don’t forget the possibility of volunteering, as well. Many charities and nonprofit organizations are always seeking to recruit new volunteers, so you can expect to be welcomed with open arms. This approach has the added benefit of boosting your well-being.

To dial the pressure down, remember that not everyone needs to become your close friend. Studies show that even “weak-tie” interactions with virtual strangers have a beneficial effect.

For people who are recovering from addictions, however, genuine and deep connections with others are vital since being honest with yourself and others is essential to your recovery’s success. Prioritize community-based treatment programs and facilities that will connect you with a team of experts, recovered addicts, and other people on the journey to sobriety. 

That said, don’t try to go it alone. Neglecting to amass sufficient social support frequently leads to relapse.

Get the friends you deserve

For millions of Americans, isolation and loneliness are facts of life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Understanding the negative impact of loneliness on your physical and mental health can provide the impetus to change.

Don’t let fear, conditioning, or a painful past stop you. Get out there and find the friends you deserve.

– Nicholas Mathews, founder and CEO of Stillwater Behavioral Health, is a passionate and committed treatment provider in every aspect of his professional life. A resident of Southern California by way of Oregon, he started his career in behavioral health as a result of his own profound experiences with personal recovery; his passion is giving back to a population of his peers. A serial healthcare entrepreneur, every venture he undertakes is dedicated to helping individuals struggling with addiction and mental health disorders.

Published by: Martin De Juan