HEIDI LANGBEIN-ALLEN was raised in Germany, France and Spain and lives in the USA with her husband, a retired US Navy veteran. As she watched her father growing older, she became aware of the urgency to write his story down. She captured his memoirs from his taped recollections and records of interviews about his years as a child soldier in Hitler’s Army during World War II. It has been published by Pen & Sword Military in Europe, and Casemate Publishers in the US.
In this exclusive interview with Los Angeles Wire, Heidi Langbein-Allen tells us more about the book, and the long family history that led to its making.
Bob Graham: What is Save the Last Bullet about?
Heidi Langbein-Allen: The book is about defending democracy. The story is meant to be a reminder of the devastating consequences of authoritarian rule. Would-be dictators often take over by using rhetoric that calls on people’s fears and resentments and gives them permission to give them free reign. Despots will attempt to take over by posing as the only keepers of truth, and solvers of all problems. When authoritarian rulers take over, free will is destroyed, and repression and violence take over. The story of my father illustrates the destruction that Hitler’s autocratic rule wrought not only on other countries and people, but on Germany itself.
It is also a book about hope and determination, and about healing. It is a testament to the power that even one single person has to make a difference.
Graham: What made you decide to write the book at this point in time?
Langbein-Allen: My father was thrown into war at age 14 in the last days of WW2, used as cannon fodder in Germany’s desperate attempts to stave off the Russian advance. For years I had begged him to document his story. After a long career dedicated to strengthening the European Union, when he was in his seventies he finally relented and narrated his story onto 16 cassette tapes, converted them to CDs and sent them to my sister and me in 2007. I listened to them once and put them away in a drawer for the next nine years. In 2016, I suddenly realized that my father was eighty-six years old and his health was rapidly deteriorating. I did not have much time left to ask him questions about his story. I first set out to document his story only for my children, but was later convinced by a friend, who is an author, that the story should be published because of its relevance to current events.
Graham: Your father suffered a horrible nightmare during WWII, and he was only a kid. Did it impact him for the rest of his life, and if so, in what way?
Langbein-Allen: My father was afflicted with PTSD. He had nightmares from which he woke up screaming almost every night throughout our youth. Only as we became adults did they seem to subside a bit.
I believe the most salient effect the war had on him is that it instilled in him a heightened sense of justice, and an urge to stand up for what he believed was right, no matter what the cost. That stance caused him to take the more difficult road at times, and sometimes created difficulties for him in his professional life, but he never compromised, and he never backed down. Arguably he did not reach a higher rank in the government hierarchy because he was said to be too “direct”. Nonetheless, he did not waver, and always led with honesty, courage and conviction.
Graham: As you mentioned, your father suffered from PTSD his entire life although they didn’t call it that at the time. Have we come far enough in its treatment for other soldiers returning home after war?
Langbein-Allen: We’ve definitely come a long way from WWII, but a lot more can be done. There is still a lot of stigma attached to mental illness, and there are a lot of veterans needing help who need to be identified. We can see the complex issue in this country with Vietnam and Iraq war veterans who have PTSD and require special care that they cannot always access. Many Vietnam veterans are part of the U.S. homeless population. They could not reintegrate into society after the trauma they experienced and fell through the cracks of the system.
Graham: How did your father’s childhood impact you and the rest of the family as you were growing up?
Langbein-Allen: Growing up I always saw my father as an authority figure, mostly benevolent but firm, and completely unapproachable. It was unthinkable to me to talk back or to go to him with a problem. I loved him but was intimidated by him. I didn’t know or understand why he was emotionally unavailable until much later in life, when I realized what he went through in his youth. He demanded unquestioning obedience, because he practiced as a father what he had learned as a child. I think he felt he could not afford to show emotions, first because he didn’t know how, and also because he was afraid that he would open floodgates he would not be able to control. My father did the best he could and was a great provider for his family. He did instill in me a great sense of integrity and an uncompromising moral compass.
Graham: Is the deplorable act of using children as soldiers unique to World War II?
Langbein-Allen: Unfortunately, it is not. Ishmael Beah’s book, A Long Way Gone, is a great example of how children are used in wars, and of the long-term devastating mental and physical consequences those children suffer from their horrific experiences. Beah is now a UNICEF goodwill ambassador, working to end the use of child soldiers. The UN has verified that between 2005 and 2018 65K child soldiers were used around the world. The UN security council has a strategy and action plans to end child recruitment, including criminalizing it, investigating and prosecuting, appointing child protection specialists, and raising awareness. It is a difficult issue to resolve, and much work still needs to be done.
Graham: What is the main message you and your dad want to pass on following the writing of Save the Last Bullet?
Langbein-Allen: The message is don’t repeat the mistakes of the past, don’t allow despots to manipulate us into robbing us of our freedom. It is also a message of hope and healing, the notion that good can be done, and that we can all make a difference. It is my hope that my book will encourage reflection. I would like to bring awareness to young people who read my book through my father’s eyes. War is real, and this book could bring it closer to them because it is written from a child’s perspective. To a more mature audience I would like to offer an opportunity for healing of old wounds, because it is through the telling of true stories that we can gain empathy and understanding, and perhaps a sense of closure.
Graham: What made you decide to tell your dad’s story now?
Langbein-Allen: I felt a sense of urgency because I observed a concerning trend of increasing populism and authoritarianism and deep political polarization around the world. My father’s book is a historical account of what happens when democracy is lost and autocratic rule takes over. My father had grown concerned about the turn geopolitical events were taking in the last years of his life. He could see signs of emerging extremism, and feared a return to conditions he had fought so hard his whole life to prevent from recurring. He passed away in 2018 and was spared witnessing the war in Ukraine. Sadly, the war in Ukraine is an example where violence and lies are used in the pursuit of political and territorial control, causing massive destruction and loss of life.
Graham: Why do you think it’s important for people to tell their stories?
Langbein-Allen: It is indispensable to preserve history for future generations, to help us understand who we are, where we came from, why things are the way they are. We pass on our legacy to our children in the hopes that they will learn from our past experiences and build on them to create a better future. Everybody has valuable insights and fascinating stories to tell and sharing them enriches the human experience.
Graham: Where can one pick up a copy of Save the Last Bullet?
Langbein-Allen: It is available wherever you prefer to buy books, including Amazon and other online bookstores.
Save the Last Bullet: Memoir of a Boy Soldier in Hitler’s Army
Wilhelm Langbein & Heidi Langbein-Allen
ISBN: 9781399072397
Hardback
UK: Pen & Sword Military
US: Casemate Publishers
